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I STILL can't take this thing. We tried for about 10 minutes. He started getting soft. I felt incredibly demoralized.

He gets ready to go, grumbling really nastily the entire time, calling me a punk, a bitch, etc. It's clear that he was very frustrated and this was a common occurrence.

I was sort of scared — not that he'd rape me or anything, but that he'd beat me up. He left. I felt incredibly demoralized, like I failed at my one primary objective.

I never heard from him again. The more that I think about this, the more I think this poor guy, like, NEVER got to have intercourse because of how freakish and physically impossible it was.

Rather sad if you think about it. I have had an encounter with enormous BALLS. I slept with a guy with huge balls. The first or second time we slept together, he must have noticed me staring, because right away he was like, "Yup, those are some huge balls, aren't they?

Don't worry, though, it's cool. An ex was really concerned and made me go to the doctor about it. Dave Franco may be hung like a horse, but it is a smaller horse than the one DeAndre Jordan is hung like.

I like both Francos. But if I could have the head of James with the body of Dave, it would be perfect. Such a hawtie…….

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